13th
every (mon)day is a manic (mon)day.
I sort of feel like i just wake up…coast the day along, long for my bed and then do it all over again the next day. When did life become so boring and unexciting? Or is it me?
Ever since i got back from california, i feel like the life has been completely sucked out of me. Nothing excites me anymore and its beginning to be torturous to bribe myself to get off the couch and motivate to go out. And then… once i get out, im miserable and i want to just go home. What a stupid way to live!
I don’t understand why i’m always so scared. why in some cases, i cringe to have to do things by myself. I don’t understand how i let the anxiety get so much bigger than me, and then i trapped by it.
I took Mr. Donafrio’s advice with the help of Nichole and confident words by my step-father. I made the leap. I said how i feel. How i really feel. Today i woke up thinking that it was pointless to do so. I can’t be the only person in this saying how i really feel. Especially, when i have an inkling, that you feel the same way.
Debbie Downer. Womp Womp.
In other news, my pops is coming to visit this weekend! it’s going to be so crazy he hasn’t been in NY since ‘06 when i graduated. I probably could have swung a long weekend, but i’m already taking one in two weeks (well needed). We’re going to the (1st) Mets game on Saturday. Where I intend to show my father what a true lady i am: Beer and baseball. Jodi moves in to the apartment in two weeks, which is pretty sick i must say. We went to easter dinner together last night @ red bamboo and it was quite yummy. Then we had a lengthy conversation on why Bret Michaels sucks, because even in reality TV there’s no fairytale ending… TAYA ew!
Off to a client’s house. I met them Friday and i can already tell they’re going to be HELL to work with. UGH. I really do not tend to work a minute of o/t today. Let’s see what happens.
